I was reading the current issue of O magazine last night (the one with Michelle Obama on the cover), and came across this spot-on quote about love. I know people, and I’m sure you know people; you may even be one of those people, and I’m sorry to say that I have been one of those people who tries to control the person they are in a relationship with. You try to fix them / change them / stop them from talking to a certain person / stop them from wearing a certain thing / make them more to your liking. And that’s not love. That’s micromanaging. Love is when you accept someone for who they are and enjoy being accepted for who you are. Easier said than done, I know. But I think that should always be the goal: Loving someone enough to set aside your controlling instincts. This full article was written by Martha Beck:

I’ve done my share of just-in-case controlling when it comes to love (I’d like to apologize to anyone who once wandered into my danger zone). Happily, I’ve learned that setting people free, not trying to control them, ensures a lifetime of love.

Here’s the closest thing to a genuine love spell, “I love you, and I really don’t care what you do.” This is not a promise to stay with someone who behavior is destructive. It’s a simple statement that you aren’t dependant on the other person’s choices. That means you can respond to someone as he or she really is, instead of trying to force a fallible person to become infallible. Knowing that love (like all good things) is readily available, we don’t need to control any individual. And oh, how people love being loved without a care.

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