Samara O'Shea

Archive for the ‘All’ Category

The Good Life

Friday, March 30th, 2018

“I believe it will have become evident why, for me, adjectives such as happy, contented, blissful, enjoyable, do not seem quite appropriate to any general description of this process I have called the good life, even though the person in this process would experience each one of these at the appropriate times. But adjectives which seem more generally fitting are adjectives such as enriching, exciting, rewarding, challenging, meaningful. This process of the good life is not, I am convinced, a life for the faint-fainthearted. It involves the stretching and growing of becoming more and more of one’s potentialities. It involves the courage to be. It means launching oneself fully into the stream of life. Yet the deeply exciting thing about human beings is that when the individual is inwardly free, he chooses as the good life this process of becoming.”

~ Carl R. Rogers, On Becoming a Person: A Therapist’s View of Psychotherapy

The Language of Love

Thursday, February 15th, 2018

I post this out of love for all the men and women who find themselves in toxic relationships:

“A doormat is an inanimate object. You can wipe your feet on it, step on it, kick it around, or whatever you like. It has no will of its own. It can be your servant but not your lover. When we treat our spouses as objects, we preclude the possibility of love. Manipulation by guilt (“If you were a good spouse, you would do this for me”) is not the language of love. Coercion by fear (“You will do this or you will be sorry”) is alien to love. No person should ever be a doormat. We may allow ourselves to be used, but we are in fact creatures of emotion, thoughts, and desires. And we have the ability to make decisions and take action. Allowing oneself to be used or manipulated by another is not an act of love. It is, in fact, an act of treason. You are allowing him or her to develop inhumane habits. Love says, “I love you too much to let you treat me this way. It is not good for you or me.”

~ Gary Chapman, The 5 Love Languages

There’s a Hole in My Sidewalk

Thursday, March 23rd, 2017

Without ever having you…
I have lost you.
Without ever knowing you…
I know you…
There is no history…
Only a memory
that never occurred at all.
A memory…
I can never forget.
~ Portia Nelson, There’s a Hole in My Sidewalk: The Romance of Self-Discovery

40 days and 40 nights

Thursday, March 2nd, 2017

Greetings ~ I’m giving up FB and Twitter for Lent. They’ve become too anxiety inducing for me lately. That being said, it’ll still be a challenge because I am endlessly curious as what others think of the latest news. I will remain active on Instagram. I’m fairly new to Instagram and find it to be tranquil so far. Everyone have a good 40 days and 40 nights!

A Good Friend is Dating a Not-So-Good Guy. What Do You Do?

Wednesday, February 24th, 2016

Dear Samara,

My best friend is widowed and has been single for five years. She had some money, but recently lost most of it on a bad investment.

She has dated different men up until now and a few months ago met a man she is totally in love with and says they want to get married. The problem is, he is not a good guy—so says I. None of us like him, he’s sleazy and we’re wondering what he really wants from her. He has lived in the same area as us for a long time. We know him by reputation, he is not good with money, has had many girlfriends over the years and has been married once before. He has no kids. I know I am judging him, but why can’t she see what I do?

How do I tell her that she’s heading down the wrong road or does she have to find out by herself? If she does marry him I will still be her friend, but it will impact our friendship.

Good Friend Jen

Read my response.

The Circle of Life

Wednesday, April 23rd, 2014

This is a photo of my grandparents sometime in the 40s. My grandfather died in 1996 and we lost my grandmother yesterday. I adore this photo. This is before they had 7 children and umpteen grandchildren. They were young and in love with the world at their feet. Speaking of which, how great are my grandmother’s shoes? The whole outfit actually. I would wear the whole outfit today if I could. She was ever stylish and graceful.

Dave & Jean

My family was with her on Easter Sunday and my sister recited the poem “If” by Rudyard Kipling. It was one of my grandfather’s favorites. I share it to celebrate their rich lives.

If
by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build’em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

Men’s Health

Monday, February 10th, 2014

If you find yourself passing a newsstand…there’s a mini mention of me on page 64 of the March issue of Men’s Health. Jimmy Fallon is on the cover, and I am encouraging men to write love letters for V-Day…