I have a copy of Sylvia Plath’s unabridged journals on my nightstand. I leave it there with the intention of reading an entry or two every night. More of often than not though I head straight to sleep. That’s actually a good thing for you; otherwise I’d be tempted to post every other entry of hers, and this blog would be all Sylvia all the time. I’m consistently taken aback by the way she describes the simplest things. Little acts. Passing thoughts. All-consuming emotions. I identify with her on many levels. Maybe too many levels—do I really want to identify with someone who committed suicide at the age of 30? Well, I am 29 with no sign of depression in sight (thankfully), so that sets my mind at ease a bit.

The entry below was written at the beginning of Sylvia’s second semester of her Freshman year at Smith College (she was 18). I’ve had days like this where I’m feeling jealous of just about everyone. Jealousy is one of those standard emotions that can get really out of hand—as anyone who’s had an overtly jealous lover knows. I pride myself on not being that jealous of a creature, but even I’m not immune to grinding my teeth occasionally when someone else has something I desperately want. The thing is, you can have everything and still want more. We’re humans and it’s our nature to never be completely satisfied, so it’s best to love what you have and send jealous tendencies to the wayside. I’ve found in the past few years that the best way to deal with jealousy is to admit you have it. It sounds strange but often times we live in denial about being jealous of someone. Denial in jealousy looks like this, “I don’t like her. I don’t know why I just don’t!” If you can’t put your finger on a reason for not liking someone then jealousy is usually the culprit. I find when I admit to myself that I want what someone else has (whatever that may be) then I can shrug my shoulders and follow-up with, “Okay but you don’t have it, so don’t worry about it.” And that’s that. Here Sylvia readily admits she’s feeling jealous, I wonder if the act allowed her to let some of it go . . .

1951
I am jealous of those who think more deeply, who write better, who draw better, who ski better, who look better, who live better, who love better than I. I am sitting at my desk looking out at a bright antiseptic January day with an icy wind whipping the sky into a white-and-blue froth. I can see Hopkins House, and hairy black trees; I can see a girl bicycling along the gray road. I can see the sun light slanting diagonally across the desk, catching on the iridescent filaments of nylon in the stockings I hung over the curtain rod to dry. I think I am worthwhile just because I have optical nerves and can try to put down what they perceive. What a fool!

I had a wonderful radio interview last weekend with Kathleen Adams. She’s a pioneer in the world of journaling having written Journal to the Self and Scribing the Soul: Essays in Journal Therapy amongst others. It was an honor to speak with her (as I’ve used her books as a guide for my own), and we had a lot of fun during our hour together. The good news is you didn’t miss the interview! It will air on November 6th at 5 p.m. (EST) on Exceptional Wisdom Radio.

At the end of every interview Kathleen (Kay as she prefers) asks her interviewee for a “Pen Tip,” in other words a journal-writing technique. I told her about one that I’ve been toying with lately. The source of the technique is a little strange. It’s inspired by Facebook.

For those of you not familiar with Facebook there is a featured called “Status Update.” This is when you literally fill in the blank as to how you’re feeling—or how you want your friends to think you’re feeling because it becomes public once you type. It can be as profound or mundane as, well, your feelings. Some examples:

- Joe Schmoe is disappointed with the Dodgers
- Anne Clark just finished the bar exam!
- Jake Paine is falling in love
- Lisa DiCostanzo hates the new 90210
- Katie Tally thinks now is a good time

You get the idea. For no good reason one day I felt compelled to write a list of Facebook-style status updates in my journal.

- Samara O’Shea is dancing in the dark
- Samara O’Shea believes in fairies
- Samara O’Shea wonders why she is waiting by the phone
- Samara O’Shea is ready to spit nails

Of course in my journal they were much more personal and arguably strange. What surprised me was each time that I wrote one status update another would come to me—and another and another. I was literally letting myself in on how I was feeling. Third person writing does this. It invites you to step back and look into your life from the outside in rather than first-person writing which looks from the inside out. They are both beneficial, but it’s been a while since I’ve done any third person writing so I found this to be an especially helpful exercise.

Calling all civilians in the greater Philadelphia area: I’ll be teaching a journal writing workshop this Saturday from 2 p.m. - 3 p.m. at Book Corner (311 North 20th Street). Here’s the course description, but we’ll make it what we want it to be. A reading group. A therapy session. A game of duck duck goose. A grand old time. Hope to see you there!