Samara O'Shea

Archive for the ‘Random Musings’ Category

To Trust or Not to Trust

Tuesday, January 10th, 2017

“If someone is not treating you with love and respect, it is a gift if they walk away from you. If that person doesn’t walk away, you will surely endure many years of suffering with him or her. Walking away may hurt for a while, but your heart will eventually heal. Then you can choose what you really want. You will find that you don’t need to trust others as much as you need to trust yourself to make the right choices.” ~ Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements

I meant to post this during the hubbub of the holidays but didn’t have a chance. A friend of mine is writing a book on love and forgiveness. At the end of 2016, he interviewed one person per day for 33 days to promote a Kickstarter campaign. At one point he interview me and we discussed the fine art of self-trust:

Welcome to Whoville

Friday, November 11th, 2016

This is what I posted on Facebook the morning of November 9th:

Friends, It’s as if we are the Whos of Whoville and we woke up to discover that our gifts and the food for our feast had been stolen in the night. We know what to do: Go outside and hold hands and sing anyway—through our tears and through our fears. Let the Grinch hear the sounds of a group of people who love each other and who will stand by and protect each other come what may.

#ThrowbackThursday – Brad and Angie Version

Thursday, September 22nd, 2016

Throwback to September 2014 when I feared marriage would ruin the Jolie-Pitt relationship.

Can a Straight Man be in Love with a Gay Man?

Wednesday, April 27th, 2016

Dear Samara,

I am a gay guy in love with my straight best friend who has a wife and two kids. The thing is he is in love with me too, but he is straight. How do we figure this out? Can a guy be straight and in love with a guy?

Tangled up in You

I think no. What do you think?

I’m About to get Married and Terrified I’ll Never Receive Another “Come Hither” Look in my Life

Wednesday, April 13th, 2016

Dear Samara,

I am about to get married. I love my fiancé, but something happened the other day that really bothered me. I was in a restaurant and I saw a really hot guy. Normally, I would get a look but I got nothing. It dawned on me that I might never be desired by another man again after marriage—even if it is just one of those thrilling one-off glances. How do I become okay with this outside of staying single?

Hit or Miss

At least she’s honest! My response is here.

What If His Parents Don’t Like Me?

Wednesday, March 16th, 2016

Hi Samara,

I am a 24 year old Hispanic woman from Texas. I met and fell in love with my boyfriend, Tom, two years ago when we were in grad school. We currently live in separate apartments in San Francisco. He has been offered a fantastic job in New York, where he is from, and wants to take it. We have decided to relocate and move in together.

The problem is he that is from a very conservative family. I’ve not met them yet, but he has told me a couple of stories. It sounds like his parents might be narrow minded and I fear that they will be prejudiced against me because my family is from El Salvador and I definitely I look Hispanic.

Tom says they won’t have any problem with my race, but I am very scared they will not accept me. I’m not even sure they will like that we plan on living together. If they don’t like me, does that mean I would break up with Tom? Both of us are committed to each other, we are soulmates and partners. We have talked about marriage, but we have so much we want to do before then. Right now we just want to be together and build our careers.

My parents haven’t met Tom either but I have told them about him. They are happy I am with someone nice. I haven’t told them that we are moving in together and I don’t think they are going to be very happy about that as we are Catholic. But I would rather take one thing at a time.

Any thoughts?

Thank you,


What would you do? Here’s my advice.

Would You Give a Guy Who Broke Your Heart Another Chance?

Friday, February 5th, 2016

Hi Samara,

I am 42 years old. Divorced twice, no children, 1 dog. Recently, I reconnected with my high school sweetheart. He is divorced with 2 children. We are madly in love once again and I think I want to spend the rest of my life with him.

The problem is that we reconnected once before in our late twenties and it didn’t work out and I was terribly hurt by him. I see many positive changes in him since we started seeing each other again. This is the third time around with him. I am wondering if we both needed to grow up before finding each other again or am I just fooling myself?

Any suggestions on how to approach this relationship this time around. I really want it to work.

Thank you,

Check out my response here.