Sample Vows

Those of you who’ve seen my sample letters know that I like to have fun with these. With that in mind, I give you the wedding vows of Kermit T. Frog and Miss Piggy:

Kermit to Piggy:

Hi-ho, Kermit the Frog here. I stand before you today to declare my love and lifelong devotion to Miss Piggy. (Turns to Piggy) Piggy, I have admired you as a talented performer and have cherished your friendship for many years. While it’s true that you noticed the romantic potential here before I did, when I fell for you I did so with all my heart and soul. You are distinctive in every sense of the word. You have a passion for life that is evident upon introduction. It was your spirit, sense of humor, compassionate heart, and wicked karate chop that ultimately drew me to you. I am a very fortunate frog.

We have many things in common and our fair share of differences. I am grateful for our commonalities and continually amused by our differences. When you are outspoken, I am reserved. When you are spontaneous, I am decisive. When you are on stage, I am making sure the props are in place and the lighting makes you look your best. When you are pink, I am green. We fulfill defect in each other and, for that reason, will make a great team.

We’ve had our ups and down, and I don’t imagine that life will be easy from here on out. I’m sure some of our days will be rather difficult. I am, however, certain that this marriage will be the most challenging and therefore rewarding adventure I’ll ever go on, and I thank you for taking this journey into the unknown swamp with me. Marriage, in word, is a sacred union between two people. Marriage, in practice, is two people incorporating each other into every aspect of their lives. It requires daily upkeep, and I am prepared to tend to our relationship like a luscious and ever-growing garden.

Piggy, in the presence of God and our friends, family, and fellow Muppets, I take you to be my wife. I promise, with Divine assistance, to be a loving and faithful husband. I will respect you in your successes and support you in your failures. I will care for you in sickness and in health. I will nurture you, encourage you, listen to you, challenge you to be your best, and grow with you through the many seasons of life. Let the lines between friend, lover, confidant, and enthusiast be forever blurred. I will play all of these roles for you from this day forward and as long as we both shall live.

Piggy to Kermit:

(Piggy speaks while wiping her tears away) Kermie I’m still not exactly sure how I talked you into marrying me, but I promise never to ask. I’ll consider myself the luckiest lady alive and leave it at that. I stand before you today overwhelmed with both love and gratitude. What I feel for you is adoration toward someone I have admired for many years, the affection of my very best friend, and the passion that is both typical between lovers and also unique to us. We have created our own brand of magic. I thank God for this opportunity to affirm my feelings and pledge my loyalty to you in front of the people we love the most.

The first time I heard you sing It’s Not Easy Being Green I was smitten. I thought, now there is an honest amphibian who isn’t afraid to face his insecurities. It was your genuineness along with your dashing smile that first led me to your heart. When I got there, I discovered your wit, determination, creativity, and willingness to work out problems with me. You are exceptionally patient, and that’s a must when dealing with a diva like me. You complement me in many ways Kermit, and you make me want to be a better version of myself.

Our home will be made of four walls and a roof, but it is you and I that will be the foundation. With joint integrity we will build from the ground up and create a safe haven for ourselves, our friends, family, and any tadpoles or piglets that might come along. We will share in each other’s laughter and comfort each other in sorrow. We will toast each other’s health and sooth each other’s sickness. We will lace our lives together day by day and moment by moment. I promise to put the same effort into you and our union as I do into my hair and make-up.

Kermit, before my family, friends, God, and Gonzo the Great, I invite you to share the rest of my life with me. I vow to love you without reservation. I will do my best to encourage and inspire you. I vow to be honest and caring, to love you as you are and not as I want you to be, and to grow old by your side. From this day forward, until death do us part.