Samara O'Shea

Apology Accepted

There’s a thoughtful article in this month’s Oprah magazine about forgiveness. In recent years I’ve learned that sometimes it takes as much grace and self-reflection to accept an apology as it does to deliver one. My favorite insights from the article:

~ “Study after study has found that forgiving is good for the body as well as the soul. It can lower blood pressure and heart rate and reduce levels of depression, anxiety, and anger. People who forgive generally have better relationships with others, feel happier and more hopeful, and score higher on just about every measure of psychological well-being.”

~ “. . .there are really only two steps in the process: grieving and letting go. Grieving, after you’ve been wronged, means letting yourself feel the anger, hurt, trauma, in all its original pain—but not indefinitely.”

~ “The decision to forgive touches you to your very core, to who you are as a human being. It involves your sense of self-esteem, your personal worth, the worth of the person who’s hurt you, and your relationship with that person and the larger world.”

~ “Forgiveness, I begin to see, is not about pretending you don’t feel angry or hurt. It’s about responding out of kindness rather than rage. It’s about letting yourself feel the full spectrum of emotions—grief and anger and hurt, but also kindness and compassion. Even toward someone who’s hurt you deeply.”