Samara O'Shea

What If His Parents Don’t Like Me?

Hi Samara,

I am a 24 year old Hispanic woman from Texas. I met and fell in love with my boyfriend, Tom, two years ago when we were in grad school. We currently live in separate apartments in San Francisco. He has been offered a fantastic job in New York, where he is from, and wants to take it. We have decided to relocate and move in together.

The problem is he that is from a very conservative family. I’ve not met them yet, but he has told me a couple of stories. It sounds like his parents might be narrow minded and I fear that they will be prejudiced against me because my family is from El Salvador and I definitely I look Hispanic.

Tom says they won’t have any problem with my race, but I am very scared they will not accept me. I’m not even sure they will like that we plan on living together. If they don’t like me, does that mean I would break up with Tom? Both of us are committed to each other, we are soulmates and partners. We have talked about marriage, but we have so much we want to do before then. Right now we just want to be together and build our careers.

My parents haven’t met Tom either but I have told them about him. They are happy I am with someone nice. I haven’t told them that we are moving in together and I don’t think they are going to be very happy about that as we are Catholic. But I would rather take one thing at a time.

Any thoughts?

Thank you,

Olivia

What would you do? Here’s my advice.